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I just helped a fellow student with an exercise in binary exploits.

He struggled for days and wanted to thank me by spending me a meal. I mentioned that this is similar to how we do bitcoin tips just in a bigger fashion. He said he could pay me in bitcoin or cardano but using bitcoin would probably cost too much. Then I asked if he has a lightning wallet and he said no.

How to best onboard new users without paying too much tx fees?

I know mempool cooled down since a few weeks ago but tx using 8sat/vB don't go through yet, for example (at least mine has not gone through for days).

How would you best onboard a new user to lightning right now?

Ask them to post good content on SN to earn sats? (Not sure if serious, haha. But maybe that's indeed a good idea)

Buying non-KYC is nonsense. You can buy on Kraken and withdraw via Lightning to your real lightning wallet very cheaply.

Buying KYC is nonsense. You can buy on Robosats and withdraw via Lightning to your real lightning wallet very cheaply. Why give your personal data to Kraken when it's none of their business? Why give them the opportunity to track you whenever they might want to do so now or in the future? To me, that's nonsense.

Also, saying "No one cares to track when you buy" is obviously false with respect to Kraken, whose privacy policy explicitly says they track when you buy:

The information that we collect from you is as follows...Trading account balances, trading activity...your inquiries and our responses (“Trading information”) source

They also say why they track when you buy:

For the purposes of identity verification, compliance with court orders, tax laws or other reporting obligations and anti-money laundering controls...[And] To comply with applicable laws, subpoenas, court orders, other judicial process, or the requirements of any applicable regulatory authorities source

So please, none of this "no one cares" nonsense. They care deeply about when you buy, how much you buy, where you send it, and what you do with it; they log all of that info to the best of their ability, and they report it to governments who ask for it and partners who purchase it:

As part of processing your personal data for the purposes set out above, Kraken may disclose your personal data to any members of the Kraken company group, and to third parties. source

I recommend fighting back with Robosats -- which is easier and cheaper than Kraken anyway.

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